Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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