So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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