I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
