That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
