have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
