We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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