he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
