You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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