You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize