i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
