Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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