I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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