Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
