You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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