its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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