its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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