I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
