if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
What drink are we having for lunch?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
