Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
