I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I am naked and annoyed.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
