I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize