he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
