Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
