Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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