he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
