He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
