This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
