i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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