I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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