whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
