Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
