I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
