Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
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