I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
