how do flat chested girls get laid?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
