why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
