You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
