So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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