I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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