Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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