I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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