so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
