Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
