Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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