If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
