Me. At least after what I've been through.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I am one with the molecules
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
