Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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