You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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