Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
