i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
