I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
