I cockslap morals
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
