Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
