it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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