dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize