Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
