you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
