another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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