Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
where am i from again
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
