They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
